Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Dark Side Has Cookies

Sammi's cookies to be exact. 

Hello all, this is Tori. I've already made a post on my blog with details about this, so here's the spark-notes version. I'm not a proxy and I'm still the medic here at Antithesis. Lucia added me to the roster here, so I figured I'd do something with it. 
I'm not exactly sure what that "something" is yet... Hey, I can't spend a month over every decision I make, right? I figure that I'll just post when needed. I'm sure that if you wanted to listen to whatever popped into my mind you'd follow my personal blog. 

So I'll just leave you with the best way to kill time on your computer ever.

Monday, June 18, 2012

A bleeding heart still pounds

Well, let's see, what's new here?

Lucylu's gotten her voice back from Ursula the, no, I wasn't watching The Little Mermaid or anything like that, why the hell are you looking at me that way? Anyway, Lucylu is speaking again, and boy am I glad to have her back. Even though I was one of the people that was all like, "LUCIA! Y U NO SPEAK TO US BEFORE YOU SPEAK TO COMPUTER!?" Gotta respect that she picked 2 AM to brave it. I know I was sure as hell asleep. I worked nine to five that day and I'd sooner stick pins in my eyeballs than be up at two after a nine to five.

Anyway where was I? Oh, Lucia beating the post-traumatic mime disorder.....right. Well.....about that. Since maybe ten o' clock tonight, she hasn't stopped talking. Or to be more specific, cursing loudly. Very loudly. And colorfully. See, she was friends with the Luminoth guy that this douche turned into an accessory the other day......not to phrase it like that, but....yeah. When I found out that that's what went down, I was worried that it would shock her back into silence. On the contrary, she's taking it sportingly with anger, and has politely warned said cocky douche that she's going to break his nose in a heartbeat if she ever sees him in person. Personally, I'd do worse, but.....

Man, do I feel bad for her, still.

Wolfy's been through the wringer lately, too. She and Lucylu have been leaning on each other to varying extents about everything. I'll let them talk about those things though, because....I'm just here to help and be the designated, plucky comedy relief (which I have been doing a bad job of lately. Can you blame me?). I'm not the person to be a storyjacker. Fell and I have been talking a lot lately, too. The big thing the four of us have gotten from talking as a group lately is deciding to make a gigantic shopping run together and generally be girly sometime this week. We need it to distract ourselves from all of the stress and mess, I think. We scheduled hair appointments and everything, so I'm excited!

If you couldn't tell yet, baking some cookies and stealing (and then scrapping for the good of humanity) a few tubas has done wonders for my mood this week. I think I can speak for both Diesel and myself when I say that life has returned to its normal pace at long last. We wake up, hang around, go to work, and come home, just like we used to. We've pretty much accepted that things are never going to be the exact same in here, ever again.....but we can't dwell on it, and we can try our damndest to come as close as we can.

The only thing that's still eating at me is what I can take away from this past month to make myself a better person. Hey, I'm not letting Specs' influence on me disappear just like that.


Friday, June 8, 2012

It's a long way

I hate to say it, but guess what? We've somehow gotten to be in even worse shape.

Lucylu's doing better, I'll give her that, and an "A" for effort. Since the last time I posted, she hasn't had any major malfunctions or meltdowns or freak moments of shouting at a poltergeist......well, no worse than the rest of us, anyway. For all of us, now that the initial hurt and shock are over, they've been replaced by a big dark cloud of silence or emptiness. Like I said....I give Lucia credit because she's trying her damndest to come to terms with it. That's more than I can say for myself. I've just been pushing it out of my head, which is all good and well until I come home for dinner and see the empty spot at the head of the table.

Then I'm more like Diesel. He's been sullen and introverted, and suddenly doing things that he hasn't done in months, maybe years. Like deciding out of the blue one day that he wanted to get around to fixing the broken toy soldiers in his collection, or maybe coming home from work late because he felt like buffing a long-standing dent out of his truck's cab. It's almost, well....I think he's decided to stop putting shit off. I think this all has given him a new outlook on life. He's supposed to go out on a short run starting tomorrow afternoon and be back within a few days, too. I hope that, maybe, the open road'll help his mood.

What's really bugging me today now is that I'm worried as shit about Wolfy. From what I can gather, she took a trip to try and find this guy she cares about.....didn't find him, and the boss was pissed that she even tried. I was there when she came back, Fell and I were....and Lucylu was sleeping, thank god.....but the boss was in the house too like a second after Wolfy was, and boy was he mad. He tore up her's knitted doll, threw it at her and just turned and vanished....he was there long enough for me to panic but not long enough to freak out. I was more worried about her once he was gone, because I saw that she was bleeding. Once I saw the blood was black, though....I ran for the first aid kit.

Fell cleaned the wound and patched her up, and we tried to talk to her.....she's not talking now, either. Even worse, she's just got her laptop in her hands and sitting there, no matter what Fell and I do....I just feel so useless anymore. I can't help Lucylu feel better, I can't help Wolfy find who she's looking for, and I couldn't even help Specs.

Alright, it's last resort time.....when in doubt, bake. It'll help me get my mind to a better spot and maybe some cookies will brighten someone's day, at least.


[[Dieseledit]] My altruism has a rash and it itches like a bitch: I swear that I'm the only one who's seen this so far. Seems like a certain self-imposed martyr is trying to pick up his pieces at long last and get a grip on his life. I'm not sure whether to point it out to Lucia or not, or if she's seen it, or I dunno....I just don't want to cause another complication. I just feel like he might be getting an angle that we're incapable of.

I've seen it. somebody tell him that Clay isn't an "it."

On a different note, yes. I'm determined to finish my bucket list at a young age. Even if it's a little mundane. The score still sits at Saebr: 3 and Diesel: 0. I'm going to even it, damn it.