1. Deal with the candlelight. It's not that bad, we still have heat, running water, et cetera.....this is a classy place.
2. This is a classy place. It would be really suspicious if it blew up or burned down or anything. Seriously, you're only shooting yourself in the foot by doing anything stupid.
3. Don't try to kill each other. I don't want to have to clean blood out of the carpets.
4. Weapons are okay to have, but listen to the rule above.
5. Don't hog the Wii.
6. There are two bathrooms, but don't hog those either. Also in request from Tori, don't use all of the hot water in our suite's tanks.
7. If you mess with my pregnant girlfriend or her cat, I will kill you in the most horrific way she can imagine and/or hold you over a blast furnace until you melt from the inside out.
8. Keep the address and the general description of the building relatively secret. We're hiding in plain sight here. I don't need any more trouble than I'm worth.
I'll add and amend these as we go pretty much. So, uh, I think that's it. If you see this and want to stay, contact us at any time. We currently have four vacancies. You can find me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and Lucia at lucianna06@AOL.com.